Today we’d like to introduce you to Alison Jaye.
It’s an honor to speak with you today. Why don’t you give us some details about you and your story. How did you get to where you are today?
My Story starts with, every family has their secrets, it is another thing to find out you are the family secret. My mother got pregnant with me after a violent encounter, with someone known to the family. She was blamed and ostracized by some family members. My mother and I had quite a tumultuous relationship as I was growing up, I believed that she hated me. As a result I kind of went of the rails so to speak, got into bad company, bad habits and was the poster child for “looking for love in all the wrong places”.
When I found out about my conception in my very late 20’s I went a little further of the rails, which took me to a failed suicide attempt. Coming through that was a wake up call for me. I realized I had been given another chance to do better, to be better.
A friend told me he saw me as a role model for his daughters, That was an honor. Shortly after that I heard an ad on the radio for mentors to teens and decided to apply. That was one of the best decisions I ever made, it was so rewarding.
Not long after I became a certified, qualified Coach as by now adult men and women were seeking me out for help and advice. It was then I knew I could use what I had gone through to help others overcome challenges and difficulties they faced and were facing.
I’m sure your success has not come easily. What challenges have you had to overcome along the way?
You are quite right. No, success had not come easy for me. Firstly, I had to overcome the shame of being the family secret, that was hard, I carried that shame with me, yet kept it deeply buried.
It would take another 20 years before I could speak about it. Someone once told me, “their shame is not yours to carry”. That stuck with me and helped me to be able to use what had happened to my mother, to really see her and look at the relationship we had and work on it. That was hard to start with but we got there. I had to overcome the guilt of the lifestyle I had lived, I felt ashamed of some of the things I had done. I had to push past what others would think of me, especially those that had known me for years. I had to stop wondering if they would believe the change.
I was wracked with fear and self-doubt, so much that I wrote my books under a pen name, I wanted to help others but yet kept hiding.
I had to dig deep and call on my faith as I believe there is a reason and a purpose for my life. All I had gone through couldn’t be for nothing.
Also, I knew I was being a hypocrite, coaching others, helping them unleash and realize their potential, encouraging them to be bold and fearless, while I was hiding, it was a double standard.
Let’s talk about the work you do. What do you specialize in and why should someone work with you over the competition?
I specialize in coaching working with men, women and children. Through sharing my story, the challenges I have faced the obstacles I have overcome. Some clients and people I have met through speaking engagements hearing my story, have gained the courage to face their past, to face some of the trauma and secrets that they have kept buried away and begin to heal.
Too often people try to move forward with their lives and wonder why they only get so far, or keep being caught in the same cycles, the same patterns. I work to get to the root of whatever ‘that’ is, to deal with it once and for all, to be able to move forward. If you look at an athlete, a high jumper, long jumper etc. even though they are looking at the goal and are focused on it, before they start to run towards it, they always take that step back. My coaching style is like that. Focusing on the goal, taking that step back, to be able propel forwards, achieving the desired goal and healing.
I coach from a place of experience and not just book knowledge. I am quite straight talking, blame the British in me!
Some of the most wounded people I have worked with, have told me they were able to connect with me, in that I knew the pain they felt, in some cases I could identify with paths they had taken and in that, they didn’t feel judged.
What’s your best piece of advice for readers who desire to find success in their life?
Be honest with yourself, ask yourself to you really want to be successful, what would that look like if you were, are you prepared to put in the work it will take?
The reason I say that, many people are actually afraid of success, afraid of the hard work that is involved with being successful. Many have bought in the whole “overnight success” notion. I would go as far as to say I don’t believe that is a thing. A person may not be know today and tomorrow they are. Let’s not overlook the years of hard work that went into them working on their skill or craft to get noticed getting them to the success they have today.
Others are are afraid of success itself, the responsibility and consequences that come with it. They are afraid of what their friends and family will say, will people change towards them? These are things that need to be addressed. If left unaddressed, some with never achieve the success they think they want. It is easier to find excuses while working half heartedly at “trying” to be successful.
If the answered is yes you really want to be successful, be prepared to make sacrifices, be prepared to put in the work. Be prepared for doors to get shut in your face, to pick yourself up, dust yourself down, improve and get back out there knocking on doors because one will open. Just don’t give up!
Speaking of success, what does the word mean to you?
Being successful isn’t just about the financial aspect. Don’t get me wrong that is a big plus.
However, success to me is the pleasure I get from what I do. The joy that comes from living and working in my purpose, in my calling. The joy I get when a client has a breakthrough and is well on the way in their healing process, to evolving, to growing.
Success to me means I get to wake up everyday to do what I love.
I am still on a journey, we all are. As you achieve a set goal, celebrate that achievement. Set another goal, work on it, achieve it, celebrate it and keep setting goals, working on them and achieving them.
You may achieve a level of success in something but you can’t stop there, you can’t get complacent as life is ever evolving, ever changing.
To each of us success looks different. But whatever success looks like to you, be the best you can be doing it.
What’s next for you?
Currently, I have written and published two books and co-authored another, One is part one of my autobiography, the other is a self-help, coaching book. There will be at least three more books to come as they are part of the series that follow the first installment of my autobiography. There may be more titles in the future on other topics.
I have podcasts on YouTube, iTunes and Spotify as well as a blog page on my website and plan to do more podcasts and blogs. The podcasts are on a range of topics, all tackling challenges that a lot of people face shy away from speaking about.
I also work in the DEIB space.
There is also a focus for more speaking engagements at conferences, panels and workshops. I have a desire to continue my Coaching practice.
Finally, how can people connect with you if they want to learn more?
My website
www.alisonjaye.net
By email
alison@alisonjaye.net
Through Instagram
@alison_jaye_8
Twitter
@AlisonJaye8
Facebook
@alisonjayelifecoach
For my books they can be found on
www.ethelmaebooks.com